Re: Winter Solstice = Illegal

We fear not thy threatenings. We shall be ready, sword in hand.

Mayor Sir Ryan has directly threatened we, the Celtic Club, with arrest and persecution should we hold our Winter Solstice Festival in Moons Field. Such a clear abuse of power hath not been known since the Romans conquered and enslaved the Celtics of the British isles long ago.

So in response, we shall concede. That’s right. We shall not hold our Winter Solstice Festival at Moons field tomorrow. We instead shall hold our Winter Solstice Festival DIRECTLY ON THE GROUND OF CITY HALL, so that the infernal, corrupt Mayor may watch our festivities from his office window.

We anticipate nearly one thousand attendants. Possibly more. This is not an exaggeration. If the Mayor delights in arresting innocent surfs and subjects, and assuming he has room in his already overcrowded jail, then we shall make it easier for him and celebrate at his doorstep, foam swords in hand.

Your move, Mayor. See you tomorrow.

– The unconquerable Lady Ceridwen

Winter Solstice Celebration…or DEATH!

Merry Winter Solstice to ye all, though this has been a trying year for our people, full of persecution and heartache.

But we of the Celtic Club are tired of hiding. The tyrannical Mayor hath denied our club’s right to exist or hold our public LARP games, but this weekend, we shall rebel by throwing our annual Winter Solstice Festival in Moon’s Field. In public.

And I for one shall be dressed in full Celtic battle garb, including my trusty LARP bow, dubbed Lady Macha after the Celtic Goddess of protection in war and peace, cunning, deadliness, and dominance over men (I don’t understand why this turns men on, it is meant to frighten and overpower them, but whatever…).

Fly true, Lady Macha.

The festival shall begin at 11 a.m. goddess time (which is the same as local time). Festivities shall include music, Celtic dancing, the drinking of mead and wine, a roasted pig, and Lady Stacey shall be setting up her hummus and vegan foods stand. We shall also have a grand LARP session in the late afternoon, so be ye prepared for battle.

By night, we shall enjoy performances by Lord Brian and his bagpipes, and Lady Jenna who will do her nude fire dancing to honor the Celtic fire Goddess Brigit. And unlike last year, all men present will need to keep a distance of at least 25 feet and shall not be permitted to take photos. This is a feminist expression of freedom and power, not a peep show, pigs.

A woman should be able to dance nude while juggling open flames on stage without being ogled by men.

At the conclusion of the evening, we shall honor Arianrhod, Celtic goddess of the moon, beauty, fertility, and reincarnation, by watching Inception on a big screen. Popcorn will be provided.

We do this in open rebellion of our Mayor, who has thrown many of our members in prison simply for being in the Celtic Club. No doubt he will try to stop our celebration. Let him come. We await him eagerly with foam swords in hand.

We are determined to defend our right to practice our beliefs, so we shall make merry this Saturday, come what may, until the Great Mother Moon doth bless us with her glow, or when the park officially closes at 10pm.

We shall celebrate or perish. Happy holidays.

Happy Winter Solstice, ye merry Celts!

Join us, the Celtic Club, in overthrowing evil Mayor Sir Ryan – potluck to follow

To the undeserving and treacherous Fool Ryan-

In response to all of these “official” edicts we give you this warning:

Is minic a gheibhean beal oscailt diog dunta!

We know that by leaving this phrase un-translated, you will be forced to use modern technology (we call it Gooeglé) if you wish to know our minds, and we delight to see you so debased. But it will not stop there. We of the Celtic Club are expert in the ancient arts of war and sabotage.  We’ve studied it for the last two-and-a-half weeks.

Child’s cross-stitching of Morrigna, the Celtic war-goddess trinity

Your behavior has proven you are a tyrant, therefore we will unleash the wrath of the Morrigan, the Goddess of battle, strife, and violent Irish children upon you. Your strongholds will be raided, your cattle stolen (we count thy great supply of giant turkey legs as cattle), and we will seek the re-installment of your great enemy, Mayor Chuck, to the Mayoral throne, who even now is being prepared by our most wise council of druids and druidesses in secret. Though he said he’d only agree to speak with us if he didn’t have to wear any “funny clothes.” In our great wisdom, we agreed, knowing that it would enrage Fool Ryan even further.

Citizens, take heed!  Those who continue to align themselves with Fool Ryan will not be given the mystical secrets of our awesome handshake, nor be allowed to participate in the ancient ritual of attending underground parties that play music past 10:30 and now include an equal ratio of men and women (we have had many flock to us as of late.)  Also, Lady Caredwin makes these AWESOME homemade piggies-in-a-blanket for all our meetings.  Truly she is a goddess of both the battle and the hearth.

– Lady Cerridwen of The Celtic Club, a.k.a, the Resistance Movement

Celtic Club Twill NOT Accept New Laws by Sir Ryan

Thrust from my people like a bastard child, sent to cower in the woods like a mongrel, and plotting like an exiled queen, I send this message through a true Sister of the Order who will upload this text from a remote location where the IPS address won’t be recognized by the central server.

We will not be oppressed by the Mayor tyrant Sir Ryan.

Sir Ryan thinks he has won.  Ha!  I have been privy to his tyranny and have reason to suspect he sits on the council’s throne through treachery!  The Goddess will not support one who achieved their rule unrightly.  I send out a war-call to my friends who I once did party and role-play with in the medieval club.  Come join us in the Celtic Club where the leadership is not tainted by corruption, and the mead is brewed stronger than the weak purple stuff Sir Ryan serves.  Also, since my sisters all agreed to continue our sacred circle away from the foul influence of the monster Sir Ryan and his wretched dogs, we are now the only club of outcasts, lepers, and the socially awkward with any women in it.  For some in the medieval club, this was their only hope of engaging women in a form of dialogue outside of tutoring sessions…so they must join us! (Our men to women ratio is currently 1:3 … I twill let that sink in, unbetrothed gentlemen…)

Come stand with us as druids and hunters!  We will subvert the awful rule of Sir Ryan.  For those who are willing, we will meet under the great willow when the moon wanes dark to hide us from unfriendly eyes.  But if you can’t see and get scared, my porch light will still be on.

I await you.

The Lady Cerridwen