Merry Winter Solstice to ye all, though this has been a trying year for our people, full of persecution and heartache.
But we of the Celtic Club are tired of hiding. The tyrannical Mayor hath denied our club’s right to exist or hold our public LARP games, but this weekend, we shall rebel by throwing our annual Winter Solstice Festival in Moon’s Field. In public.
And I for one shall be dressed in full Celtic battle garb, including my trusty LARP bow, dubbed Lady Macha after the Celtic Goddess of protection in war and peace, cunning, deadliness, and dominance over men (I don’t understand why this turns men on, it is meant to frighten and overpower them, but whatever…).
Fly true, Lady Macha.
The festival shall begin at 11 a.m. goddess time (which is the same as local time). Festivities shall include music, Celtic dancing, the drinking of mead and wine, a roasted pig, and Lady Stacey shall be setting up her hummus and vegan foods stand. We shall also have a grand LARP session in the late afternoon, so be ye prepared for battle.
By night, we shall enjoy performances by Lord Brian and his bagpipes, and Lady Jenna who will do her nude fire dancing to honor the Celtic fire Goddess Brigit. And unlike last year, all men present will need to keep a distance of at least 25 feet and shall not be permitted to take photos. This is a feminist expression of freedom and power, not a peep show, pigs.
A woman should be able to dance nude while juggling open flames on stage without being ogled by men.
At the conclusion of the evening, we shall honor Arianrhod, Celtic goddess of the moon, beauty, fertility, and reincarnation, by watching Inception on a big screen. Popcorn will be provided.
We do this in open rebellion of our Mayor, who has thrown many of our members in prison simply for being in the Celtic Club. No doubt he will try to stop our celebration. Let him come. We await him eagerly with foam swords in hand.
We are determined to defend our right to practice our beliefs, so we shall make merry this Saturday, come what may, until the Great Mother Moon doth bless us with her glow, or when the park officially closes at 10pm.
We shall celebrate or perish. Happy holidays.
Happy Winter Solstice, ye merry Celts!