Mayor Chuck Re-elected as Mayor of Byron City!

Re-Elected Mayor Charles "Chuck" Barther

Re-Elected Mayor Charles “Chuck” Barther

In a whirlwind election, former Mayor Chuck Barther was re-elected to a post he had recently resigned from due to scandal, returning order and a sense of normality to a city left in turmoil and steeped in scandal.

“We don’t care about the scandal, we just want things to go back to normal, like when he was the mayor before,” said John Parks, a Byron City native, in a sentiment shared by a majority of voters yesterday.

When the polls closed at 9pm last night, it was already clear that Mayor Chuck was the winner, gathering in 72% of the vote. Other candidates included town hero Lady Cerridwen with 17%, town recluse Bill Grue with 6%, and Internet sensation Grumpy Cat with 5%.

grumpy cat

Platform slogan: “No Hope.”

The last-minute election was run by the State, who took over management of the city after Byron City’s most recent mayor, Mayor Sir Ryan, was arrested and charged with multiple counts of corruption and illegal activity.

When State officials were asked about whether Mayor Chuck should be allowed to take office given his past scandal, they stated, “Yea, sure, we’ll pardon him or whatever, anything to get this freak show of a town moving again. That statement is off the record, by the way. Don’t type that.”

Mayor Chuck did not campaign for or even vote in this special election, but since the news broke last night, he reportedly showed up for work at City Hall in exactly the same manner as he did before he resigned, dressed in a faded grey suit, carrying a briefcase and a brown-bag lunch.

“Go away. I have work to do,” Mayor Chuck said as he climbed the staircase for work. “And as for special plans, I’m getting this town back to normal and doing nothing, just like before. And I’m probably going to shut down our city blog that you write for. That’s when things started to get stupid around here. The internet is stupid.”

State Officials will continue to monitor things in Byron City, but have stated that they will no longer take an active part in the town’s day-to-day activities. “We’re leaving. This town is boring.”

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Special Mayoral Election to be held Monday

uncle same vote or dieState officials announced today that a special election will be held on Monday to determine the legitimate replacement mayor of Byron City. To avoid corruption and tampering, only paper ballot will be counted and no absentee or electronic ballots will be counted.

The announcement comes on the heels of the largest scandal ever to hit Byron City. After former Mayor Chuck resigned following allegations that he unlawfully appointed members to the City Counsel, allegedly because he was blackmailed, Mayor Sir Ryan was appointed in his stead by the City Counsel. After imposing many unusual and illegal laws, he was forcibly removed from office by the Celtic Club, went into hiding, and was later kidnapped and returned to Town Hall, restrained, next to a box full of incriminating evidence against him

Mayor Sir Ryan was immediately removed from office and is awaiting trial at the county jail.

All citizens are encouraged to register to vote by Monday. Government offices will remain open through the weekend to process registration, per order of the state. They have also ordered a background check into all City Council members and are considering shutting down the city blog, since maintaining an official city blog may not be lawful.

Based on a random telephone poll of 50 citizens, this is what the race so far is turning into.

Candidates for Mayor- The race so far (poll)

Lady Cerridwen, 33%Leader of Celtic Club and local hero for taking down Mayor Sir Ryan.
Bill Grue 33%Conspiracy theorist, responsible for kidnapping Mayor Sir Ryan and collecting evidence that led to his conviction. Currently missing.
Bob Van Daniels, 12%– local business owner of Sausage Fest
Jerry Mills, 9%– Dentist, humorist, and super excited to have fun
Chuck Barther, 7%– After resigning from office, would he ever consider taking back the city that turned its back on him?
Undecided, 6%

Medieval Mayor Removed From Office

Sir Ryan

Sir Ryan

Mayor of Byron City Sir Ryan has been forcibly removed from office by the State following proof of gross misconduct, including corruption, blackmail, extortion, intimidation, and misuse of power. He will more than likely face jail time.

State officials have taken over administration of city government because of the “Byron City Mayoral mess,” a series of screw ups in which the city council appointed Sir Ryan, and allowed him to run the government into the ground while plunging the entire city into virtual anarchy.

A special election will be held, overseen by the state, within the next few months.

For those unfamiliar with Mayor Sir Ryan, here is a timeline of his “reign of terror” as Byron City Mayor (and yes, that is his legal name, ‘Sir’ is his first name and ‘Ryan’ is his last; he had it legally changed when he turned 18 from the less “royal” name of Ryan Michonzski).

Mayor Sir Ryan Timeline

May 1, 2012

Mayor Charles "Chuck" Barther

Mayor Charles “Chuck” Barther

Mayor Chuck accused of bribery and corruption

Jul 2,2012
Mayor Chuck denies allegations, resigns, gives press the middle finger

Aug 3, 2012
Sir Ryan Appointed Mayor by City Council

Sept 11, 2012
Sir Ryan unveils new “laws,” including:

  • Mandatory Medieval Fridays
  • Forces all restaurants to serve giant turkey legs
  • Commissions the building of a new LARP Arena
  • Exiles former Mayor Chuck
  • Forces a woman to be his girlfriend
  • Forces the High School Cheerleading team to call themselves “The Harpy Squad”
  • Outlawes the rival club, The Celtic Club
Sign of the Celtic Club Resistance Movement

Secret sign of the Celtic Club Resistance Movement

Sept 14, 2012

Celtic Club starts resistance movement to “Sir Ryan’s Reign of Terror”

Sept 25, 2012
Sir Ryan Accused of Muzzling the Press

Oct 29, 2012
Sir Ryan Enforces more unpopular changes, including:

  • Replaces streetlights with torchlight
  • Lowers speed limit to 10mph, the “max acceptable speed of a beast of burden.”
  • Shuts down bus service, replacing it with handcarts pulled by “serfs”
  • Turns fire department into convent of Gregorian monks

Oct 30, 2012
Celtic Club Resistance movement gains serious momentum

LARP Battle on the Elf Fantasy Fair, METRO 21-04-07Dec 22, 2012
Celtic Club holds a festival/protest on the grounds of City Hall. Mayor Sir Ryan dispatches his own private force of medieval club warriors to disperse the group, and a giant LARP battle commences. Mayor Sir Ryan is defeated and goes into hiding.

Jan 15, 2013
Police determine that Mayor Sir Ryan was being held hostage by Byron City citizen, survivalist and conspiracy theorist Bill Grue, most likely in one of his many emergency bunkers. Which one, the police were unable to determine.

Feb 11, 2013
After nearly two months missing, Sir Ryan turns up, duct taped to the wall of city hall with a box full of pictures, videos, and documents proving the occurrence of fraud, bribery, blackmail, misuse of power, intimidation, and illegal use of resources. (mission mayor found)

Today
It has been announced that a special election will be held within the month to elect a new LEGITIMATE mayor. Whole process to be overseen by the state, since Byron City has been deemed “inept.”