Medieval Mayor Removed From Office

Sir Ryan

Sir Ryan

Mayor of Byron City Sir Ryan has been forcibly removed from office by the State following proof of gross misconduct, including corruption, blackmail, extortion, intimidation, and misuse of power. He will more than likely face jail time.

State officials have taken over administration of city government because of the “Byron City Mayoral mess,” a series of screw ups in which the city council appointed Sir Ryan, and allowed him to run the government into the ground while plunging the entire city into virtual anarchy.

A special election will be held, overseen by the state, within the next few months.

For those unfamiliar with Mayor Sir Ryan, here is a timeline of his “reign of terror” as Byron City Mayor (and yes, that is his legal name, ‘Sir’ is his first name and ‘Ryan’ is his last; he had it legally changed when he turned 18 from the less “royal” name of Ryan Michonzski).

Mayor Sir Ryan Timeline

May 1, 2012

Mayor Charles "Chuck" Barther

Mayor Charles “Chuck” Barther

Mayor Chuck accused of bribery and corruption

Jul 2,2012
Mayor Chuck denies allegations, resigns, gives press the middle finger

Aug 3, 2012
Sir Ryan Appointed Mayor by City Council

Sept 11, 2012
Sir Ryan unveils new “laws,” including:

  • Mandatory Medieval Fridays
  • Forces all restaurants to serve giant turkey legs
  • Commissions the building of a new LARP Arena
  • Exiles former Mayor Chuck
  • Forces a woman to be his girlfriend
  • Forces the High School Cheerleading team to call themselves “The Harpy Squad”
  • Outlawes the rival club, The Celtic Club
Sign of the Celtic Club Resistance Movement

Secret sign of the Celtic Club Resistance Movement

Sept 14, 2012

Celtic Club starts resistance movement to “Sir Ryan’s Reign of Terror”

Sept 25, 2012
Sir Ryan Accused of Muzzling the Press

Oct 29, 2012
Sir Ryan Enforces more unpopular changes, including:

  • Replaces streetlights with torchlight
  • Lowers speed limit to 10mph, the “max acceptable speed of a beast of burden.”
  • Shuts down bus service, replacing it with handcarts pulled by “serfs”
  • Turns fire department into convent of Gregorian monks

Oct 30, 2012
Celtic Club Resistance movement gains serious momentum

LARP Battle on the Elf Fantasy Fair, METRO 21-04-07Dec 22, 2012
Celtic Club holds a festival/protest on the grounds of City Hall. Mayor Sir Ryan dispatches his own private force of medieval club warriors to disperse the group, and a giant LARP battle commences. Mayor Sir Ryan is defeated and goes into hiding.

Jan 15, 2013
Police determine that Mayor Sir Ryan was being held hostage by Byron City citizen, survivalist and conspiracy theorist Bill Grue, most likely in one of his many emergency bunkers. Which one, the police were unable to determine.

Feb 11, 2013
After nearly two months missing, Sir Ryan turns up, duct taped to the wall of city hall with a box full of pictures, videos, and documents proving the occurrence of fraud, bribery, blackmail, misuse of power, intimidation, and illegal use of resources. (mission mayor found)

Today
It has been announced that a special election will be held within the month to elect a new LEGITIMATE mayor. Whole process to be overseen by the state, since Byron City has been deemed “inept.”

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Re: Winter Solstice = Illegal

We fear not thy threatenings. We shall be ready, sword in hand.

We fear not thy threatenings. We shall be ready, sword in hand.

Mayor Sir Ryan has directly threatened we, the Celtic Club, with arrest and persecution should we hold our Winter Solstice Festival in Moons Field. Such a clear abuse of power hath not been known since the Romans conquered and enslaved the Celtics of the British isles long ago.

So in response, we shall concede. That’s right. We shall not hold our Winter Solstice Festival at Moons field tomorrow. We instead shall hold our Winter Solstice Festival DIRECTLY ON THE GROUND OF CITY HALL, so that the infernal, corrupt Mayor may watch our festivities from his office window.

We anticipate nearly one thousand attendants. Possibly more. This is not an exaggeration. If the Mayor delights in arresting innocent surfs and subjects, and assuming he has room in his already overcrowded jail, then we shall make it easier for him and celebrate at his doorstep, foam swords in hand.

Your move, Mayor. See you tomorrow.

– The unconquerable Lady Ceridwen

Winter Solstice = Illegal

Hello my fellow Byron City-ans,

I read the post by the outlaw Lady Cerridwen. Here is my response.

Since becoming thy Mayor legally and fairly without corruption as some hath supposed, I have only used this blog to announce official city business and occasionally to stop some more inflammatory posts that would disrupt the peace of our city. And so it is now.

I hereby announce that anyone caught attending Saturday’s Winter Solstice Celebration at Moon’s Field shall be arrested and jailed immediately. Also forthwith, anyone caught dressed like a Celt shall be jailed. However, people dressed in Medieval garb shall be permitted to do so. There’s a big difference, trust me. They look like complete nerds, we look dignified.

So let this be a first and final warning to ye of the Celtic Club. Your subversive Winter Solstice Celebration shall not occur, under penalty of jailing and fines.

And if ye bring foam swords and resist my rule, I and my posse of Mayoral guards shall respond in kind with our own foam weapon infantry, the likes of which would make ye piss your pantaloons. Do not try me. Ye shall fail.

My Mayoral Guard. I shall not hesitate to unleash them.

My Mayoral Guard. I shall not hesitate to unleash them.