About stephbanks

Howdy from Stephanie Banks-Dickson, former Jama County Beauty Pageant winner! I love dogs and mountain climbing, which is how I met my wonderful husband, Jeff. We both love animals and are trying to open a dog grooming salon. Thanks for all your encouraging support since the unfortunate drama during the year after my pageant win. Onward and upward, I always say!

Reminder: Dog Show this Saturday! Dogs only!

I just wanted to remind everyone about the dog show this Saturday! I’m so excited I can barely breathe!

Yes, it’s Byron City’s first dog show ever! And as such, naturally I’ve been getting a lot of questions, so I’ll use this opportunity to field some of them right now.

Q. When is registration due and how much is it?

A. It is due by Friday night, but we’re willing to take you Saturday just before it begins if you’re really sorry 🙂 Registration is $20.

Q. What type of animal can we enter into the show?

A. It seems like a silly question to me. Please, only DOGS in the dog show. No cats, bunnies, birds, ferrets, iguanas, mice (please PLEASE no mice), opossums, snakes, or mystery animals. Dogs only.

Q. Come on, a mystery animal would be cool! You just show up with a black box with a mystery animal inside and reveal at the last minute to the judges. The crowd would love it!

A. That may be, but this is strictly a dog show. No mystery animals.

Q. What will you do if the dogs start fighting each other? Will you let it continue? And can we watch? And can we bet on a winner?

A. No, there will be no dog fighting at the dog show.

Q. Can I bring my dog as a spectator.

A. Yes, of course!

Q. Can I release him if he sees another dog he’d like to breed with?

A. Sigh…no. There will be no dog breeding at the dog show.

Q. Are you sure? Because with all these great dogs, it would be a shame to…

A. I’ll stop you right there. No breeding. Period.

Q. Can I have any unclaimed dogs at the end of the show.

A. I don’t think there will be any unclaimed dogs, but if for some strange reason there is, no, you can’t have them. They will go to animal rescue and be adopted by a loving family.

Q. Do you know Sarah McLachlan?

A. No, why?

Q. Because you both love dogs and are into animal rescue.

A. I don’t see how that would mean I would know her.

Q. Oh, ok. Do you have to live in Byron City to enter?

A. Yes. Residents only.

Q. What about my Uncle Steven.

A. Does he live in Byron City?

Q. No.

A. Then no, he can’t.

Q. Why not?

A. I just told you, because you have to live in Byron City to enter.

Q. But he has a really great Ferret I think could win this thing.

A. I told you before, only DOGS in the dog show.

Q. You didn’t tell me that before.

A. Yes I did! It was one of the first questions you asked me!

Q. What’s the prize for Best in Show?

A. I’m glad you asked, that’s a great question. It’s a $500 Visa Gift Card and $200 worth of credits at my pet grooming salon, Faux Paws. You’ll probably get a picture in the newspaper, too.

Q. Is that all? I don’t win any of the dogs who lost?

A. What is your obsession with taking other dogs home from the dog show?

Q. I’m the one asking the questions here.

A. I think I’m going to have to ban you from the show.

Q. I wasn’t going to go anyways.

So there you have it. In short, I’m very excited for the dog show, and I had to ban 7 people from coming. But it will still be amazing! There are 26 dogs registered, including mine, so if you wanted to participate and haven’t signed up yet, get going! Email me or go to City Hall to register. I’m getting my dogs all fluffed up and ready to go. See you there!

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Announcing Byron City’s First Annual Dog Show!

Hi Byron City! I’m super excited to announce Byron City’s first ever dog show! I’ve been planning and organizing with my best friend Evan for months, and after making the manager of the rec center a plate of brownies, giving his wife a free makeover, promising not to vote for “that muslim Osama Bin Obama,” spending an hour looking at his collection of fishing lures, and retrieving a mysterious red box from under the oldest oak tree in the Byron Grove outside of town while agreeing not to look at its contents, he agreed to lease the space, so it’s officially set!

The show will happen April 7th, only giving you a month to prepare, so don’t wait! We’ve booked the Byron City Rec Center so there will be plenty of space, and registration is only $20.

To inspire you all, here are some pictures of some cute puppies! Some are from my salon, and some I just found on the internet! I hope you enjoy seeing them as much as I enjoyed posting them!

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Look how cute Princess Purty is with a bow in her hair! Gorgeous but oh so bashful, tehe!

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Uh oh! Looks like Freckles didn’t like his bath :p

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Here’s my favorite lil’ puppy Donut in his raincoat! Rainy days don’t get him down, lol.

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Eek! Donut also has political aspirations! Hail to the woof! 😀

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Oh no he didn’t! Is that puppy wearing a wig?! Trump dog says, “You’re fire-hydrant’ed” Hahaha…Ak! I’m about to die of cuteness!

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OMGosh! Is that puppy wearing slippers of himself?!!! You’re so cute I want to poke your eyes out!!!

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Aw! The puppy thinks your music is too loud! xP I’m getting overwhelmed!  I just want to squeeze you so hard and throw you out a window you’re so gosh darn adorable!!!!!

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“But mommy, my big ol’ eyes are too heavy for my widdle face!” Ak! Too adorable! I’m pulling my hair out and eating it this is so cute!!!!!!!

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Psssh. Photoshopped.

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And just for fun, a kitty in a wine glass! How did you get in there, you little rascal! Mommy loves you! Mommy wuvs you so much her fingewrs are starewting ton ggo numbs!!!

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That’s it! See you all at the dog show!

-Stephers

*thanks to whoever I stole this pictures from and to http://www.cuteoverload.com

That’s really sweet, but you should stop stalking me

I can see you, you know. Your big hat gives you away.

I started to write this as a comment to your post yesterday, but I need to write more.

Please stop singing sonnets to me. I mean, I’m really flattered, but married and just not interested, so you have to stop. I’ve returned the lock of hair you sent me through UPS, tracking number 1Z998700993807300 just in case you want it back. Again, really sweet, but I can’t accept.

Also, please stop picking me flowers. A nice gesture, but since they are from my own garden it kind of ruins it. In fact, I need you to “stop professing your love” entirely. The “love geese” you sent into my backyard bit my doggy Mrs. Sparkles, I’m still picking “love confetti” out of my lawn, and the Shakespearian Wedding Frock you sent really isn’t my style.

I’m still cleaning up after the flock of wild, exotic birds you sent. And asking “my hand in marriage” on the Jumbotron at the Byron High Football Homecoming game was just embarrassing to me and the security who had to tackle you when you ran onto the field dressed as Cupid. Again, that’s all vey sweet, but I wish you would accept my thanks and move on so we can be just friends and neighbors only.

I’m changing my locks now for the third time and am begging you to please stop. I don’t want you to get arrested or have my husband murder you, please. One day you’ll meet a great girl who will be absolutely perfect for you and in love with you. A girl who likes it when a man dresses as a knight and offers to escort her to work while wearing a pair of panties he stole from her drawer the day before, but right now, that girl is not me.

P.S. I’m also returning the copy of The Notebook you sent me with our pictures cut out and put over the faces of Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams.

PUPPY TURKEYS!!!11

OK I just had to share really quick the CUTE costumes Evers made for my puppies!!

Isn't Mrs. Sparkles so cute? I love the gobble-gobble thing that Evers made for her snout.

And Mr. Ruby looks ADORABLE in his top hat!

 

We’re all ready for the Autumn Enjoyable Trot now! I can’t WAIT to run with my little babies! AH! I love Thanksgiving!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MOB FOR JOBS TALENT SHOW1

SO, we had to make some changes for the talent show since most of the town is here in front of City Hall, but I think our talent show was a HUGE success!!

Willow told some poems and I didn’t really know what they meant, but she danced around Mayor Chuck’s car and jumped on his hood, so that was a lot of fun!

Peggy didn’t get to make her casserole because she lit a tree on fire in front of Mayor Chuck’s office and so she was in jail during our talent show. But I’m sure it would’ve been very tasty!!!!

Evers made SUCH a cute dress with his windbreaker. He’s so smart! He didn’t even go home to get his sewing kit. He told me not to post any pictures up here, but he looked SO good!! I think he definitely should be first place. And I’ll take second for my Brad Paisley song. We got the whole block singing by the end, except I needed to finish the chorus by myself, so that was kind of upsetting, but everyone was happy, so I’ll probably just sing it again on YouTube and let you all listen to it.

Unfortunately, we didn’t get to raise any money for Steve Jobs’s family because nobody paid to get in. Willow said we should have to pay to entertain ourselves and that that’s what corporations want us to do. It’s really sad, but maybe we can raise money some other way. At least we all had fun Occupying Byron!!

Halloween TALENT SHOW!!

K. I just talked to Mayor Chuck and he said as long as I don’t make anyone wear gold stars on their coats, I’m fine. LOL. I didn’t really get it, but Chuck said we can have a TALENT SHOW for Steve Jobs’s Wife!

So Peggy Jensen will make a casserole. Ummm… does anyone want to judge the casserole?

Sue Wood will sing a song with her family–Soo sweet!

And Willow Van Wess will do some poetry.

 

This is a great start, but we’re NOT DONE YET! I’ll be sharing the talent I shared in the Jama County pageant when I competed, but Mayor Chuck said I can’t use matches this time. But that’s ok because it will still be AWESOME!

Evers? Do you want to do something? I’ll text you tonight when I get off work. Does anyone else want to do something in the talent show? I’m thinking we can make it Saturday, October 30. How does that sound? We’ll do it at the church and we’ll call it, Mob for Jobs.

Aren't they so sweet?!

This is for a good cause, everyone! Call me or text me if you want to participate, or write under this post if you have any ideas for a talent. PLZ do it for Mrs. Jobs!

OMG!!1

I can’t believe Steve Jobs DIED! That is sooooo sad!

Does that mean they’re gonna shut down itunes? OMG! I can’t live without itunes!!!!!! I hope Steve Jobs left someone in charge.

Maybe we should, like, put together a fundraiser for Steve Jobs’s family! His wife must be SO sad right now! I know if Jeff died, I’d cry sooooo much.

That’s it. I’m going to put together a Halloween show fundraiser for Mrs. Jobs. Anyone who wants to be in the talent show, sign up in the comments and we can get this started! I think I’ll sing Mud on the Tires by Brad Paisley. I sang that in the Jama County Pageant. So no one take that. This time I probably won’t throw any mud out in the audience. Anywayz, what do you think? Everyone who wants to should sign up!! Let’s raise money for the Jobses!

Ummmmm, that’s all I really wanted to say.