Byron City – The Celtic Club’s Winter Solstice Festival turned into a full on LARP Battle when the Medieval Club showed up to forcibly shut it down, leaving hundreds of teens and college students pretend injured and fake dead.
The Festival, held as both a celebration and an open protest against the unpopular, newly appointed Mayor Sir Ryan, commenced despite threats from the Mayor to arrest anyone in attendance. Sir Ryan, himself a member of the Medieval Club, has also passed other unpopular laws, such as forcing restaurants to add giant turkey legs to their menu, spending the local library’s entire budget on Game Guides, and forcing the Byron High Cheerleading team to call themselves “The Harpy Squad.”
Celtic Club members began their festival Saturday at 11am on the grounds of Town Hall, choosing the spot purposefully in order to “annoy the mayor.” Mayor Sir Ryan responded by dispatching his own force of over 200 “medieval body guards,” armed with foam swords and shields and drunk on “Courage Mead” (Mountain Dew). The LARP battle began immediately, with Mayor Sir Ryan himself joining the fray (photo).
Calls flooded the local 911 call center for nearly an hour, though no action was taken since “nerdy teens doing something weird” as callers described it is not technically illegal.
By the end of the conflict, the Celtic Club had taken over the Town Hall, raised their flag, and began distributing free butter beer while singing a Gaelic victory hymn before the real police arrived and dispersed the crowd.
Mayor Sir Ryan disappeared with his closest aids after the battle and has not been seen since.
Celtic Club attributes its victory to the fact that it was “fighting for freedom and the very right to exist.” They admit that some of the victory may be due to the fact that they have more “hot girls” than the medieval club, and many nerds willingly let a girl beat them for the chance to talk to her later and maybe going to The Hobbit or something next weekend.