Ladies, Keep it in Your Shirts

I’ve noticed that many folks are celebrating  National Breast Cancer Awareness Month this October. One of my neighbors is pinning a pink ribbon ridiculously close to her bosom and my sister in-law (who is already quite a rebel) bought a shirt that says “Support your B**bs.”

Now, I don’t want to be insensitive here, but breast cancer has become one of those new excuses for women to perk up and for men to look up pictures of it. I’m talking about the immoral obsession with women’s chests.

When I was younger, a lady never talked about having breast cancer. She kept it tucked inside under a very modest shirt and never told anyone about it. Why don’t we just stick to that?

Wikipedia says that the month of October is also National Book Month. That’s a wonderful holiday. Or National Bullying Prevention Month–let’s stop those mean old bullies! Or LGBT History Month–I know I could go for a sub sandwich right now!

So many good causes. Let’s keep things G-rated and stop focusing on the bosoms here, okay, ladies? Now go on home and make you and your husbands a delicious LGBT sandwich!