Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
Thou art more lovely and technically married:
Rough winds do shake your windows in May
whilst I spy on thee from the dark bushes
Sometime thy lover with a baseball bat doth scare
And often is his red complexion seen
Yet I continue to love thee from afar
For the restraining order thou didst place
So undeservedly after my last post
But thy eternal summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of my love thou wants
But has of yet to know thou want’est it
So long as I can breathe I will love thee,
Just tell thy husband to stop hitting me.
Written by Sir Ryan and William Shakespeare, in honor of St. Valentine’s Day for ye fair wench Stephanie Banks-Dickson
P.S. Forgive my misuse of iambic pentameter. I am much afflicted with passionate humours.