May The Floss Be With You – and more dentist humor

Hey guys, I’m Jerry! I’m a dentist and a bit of a prankster (lol, we have fun) but an overall nice guy and the best neighbor you’ll ever have, or as I like to call myself, a neighFUN, since I’m anything but a bore!

Hi, I’m Jerry!

I’ve been reading this blog for months and I thought to myself, “Doggone it, why haven’t I gotten into the blog thing yet?” So I thought I’d shake off these old stubborn fingers of mine and get a’typin’! It’s high time I introduced myself to Byron City on the world wide web.

Some of you already know me as your dentist. And you know that I’m not one of those “scary” dentists. I like to keep it fun so my patients don’t dread coming to see me. Because I pity the fool who don’t like going to the dentist! LOL, Mr. T.

But it’s true! I was just telling my dental assistant, Dana, the other day (well, she’s assistant to the regional dentist, haha, that’s from The Office) that, while most people hate seeing their dentist, my patients love me! She just rolled her eyes and went back to watching her youtubes video. Ha, that’s classic Dana. If I wanted to work a job where every one of my customers dreaded having to see me, I’d probably be an accountant. Haha, that’s just a joke. I love accountants. I told you we have fun here.

Anyhosier, here’s an example of what you might expect during an appointment with me. My assistant leads you in, and I say, “Come on in!I am the Dentanator! Come with me if you want clean teeth. Are you Sarah Connor?” while holding my arms out like the Terminator. Ha, I know your name isn’t actually Sarah Connor, I’m just doing that because it’s from the movie.

Then we’ll open up your mouth and take a look, and I might accidently shine the light in your eyes instead of your mouth and be like, “Oops, is the light too bright? Is it? Is it? Ha, guess you’re having a dental exam, not an eye exam!” I’m a bit of a prankster, I know.

Then we’ll take a look at your chompers to see if there are any little naughty cavities. “Cavity?! No candy for you! You come back one year!” Haha, but seriously, you should see a dentist more often than that. That’s just part of the joke, the Soup Nazi from Seinfeld. Which is funny, because he’s not actually a Nazi, Jerry just calls him that because he’s so, “No soup for you, ra ra ra, sieg heil!” you know? Like a Nazi? Oh, good times…

Ha, I LOVE these masks! Try not smiling when your dentist puts this on. I dare you 🙂

Well, then we’d fix your cavity. This is usually when I bust out my classic prank where I pretend I’ll have to yank your tooth out. My patients usually look a little scared and ask if there is anything I can do to save the tooth. “You want the tooth? You want the tooth!? You can’t handle the tooth!!!” That’s from A Few Good Men. Or I might go with “You are the weakest tooth! Goodbye!” You know, from that classic game show Weakest Link. What happened to that show? Or I’ll go to my never-fails Gollum impression: “Give me that tooth, we wants it, the precious!” Haha, oh, you should just see the laughs roll in and the tension melt away with that one. And my high school drama teacher told me I’d never have an acting career!

And then I’d finish off the work and send you out the door with a goodie bag containing a free toothbrush, floss, toothpaste samples, and some silly putty and fake tattoos! Like I said, we keep things fun here! Just don’t tell my wife about the tattoos 🙂

So I hope that gives you all a good idea of who I am, what I do, and what you can expect when you come to my office for a check up. You won’t be trembling or dreading an appointment at my place, I guarantee it!

So keep smilin’, keep brushin’, and I hope to see all of your pretty smiles at my office soon. May the floss be with you!

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One thought on “May The Floss Be With You – and more dentist humor

  1. Pingback: Special Mayoral Election to be held Monday | The City of Byron City

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