Last month, the Hunger Games movie came out, and I admit it, I really liked it. I loved the books, and the movie was everything I hoped it could be. Still, now that the fervor has died down and life is back to normal, I’m starting to regret my Hunger Games tattoo. Just a little.
I mean, it seemed like such a good idea at the time. Tax season had just ended, so things were quiet around my accounting office, and then during lunch Ted just blurted out, “Hey, wouldn’t it be hilarious if Shane got a tattoo right now!” and I was like, “Don’t dare me! I’ll totally do it!” and then Ted was like “I totally dare you, you pansy,” and I was like “Oh it’s on now, son!” and all of us just closed up the office and headed out and the next thing I knew I had a tattoo of the mocking jay on my arm.
I guess it was kind of a rash decision, but at the time I was really happy I did it. Well, by “happy” I mean I was laughing because I totally got a Hunger Games tattoo on my arm and couldn’t believe I actually did that, and all the guys at work, like, worshipped me for having the balls to not only get a tattoo, but the grass to get one of a silly book for teen girls. Their words, not mine.
It was awesome. Then the weeks went by and suddenly no one at work was talking about the tattoo anymore and I stopped getting “likes” on Facebook about it, so now…jeez… maybe it wasn’t such a good idea after all.
I mean, I like the overall message of “May the Odds be Ever in your Favor,” but this thing is going to be on my arm FOREVER. I didn’t really stop to think about that when I was in the chair drinking that Heineken Ted bought me and betting Kenneth $20 that I wouldn’t flinch when the needle started buzzing, but now that I’ve had a few moments alone to think about it…maybe it wasn’t the best decision I ever made.
Wow, now that I’m actually typing this out, and reliving the moment in my head when we left the parlor and all the guys were carrying me on their shoulders and then play-hitting me on my sore arm while we all got beers at O’Connells and laughed about the whole thing and how “legendary” it all was, just before Ryan threw up on a bar stool and the bouncer kicked us out for throwing darts in people’s beer pitchers and then Ted asked if he could crash on my couch because “things aren’t so good with the wife,” I’m starting to freak out a little bit. Ten years from now, this will be like having a James Cameron’s Titanic tattoo on my arm, or a tattoo of the Chocolate Rain kid. Ah! What have I done?! What am I doing with my life?! Why do I feel like I’m asleep all of the time and that I have no purpose in life?!! I’m just numb all the time!
Sigh. I miss high school.