From the office of the Mayor:
The City Events calendar has been updated.
Due to an oversight and double-booking, we will be having our town’s Republican Caucus at the same time and venue as our Annual Valentine’s Day Lover’s Ball. Even though the two big events must share a space, this will not deter the romance/patriotism of the evening, as all loved-ones/constituents will enjoy this special night full of enchantment/arguing.
Come dressed to impress/intimidate your sweetheart/opponent. The city will provide plenty of refreshments and a full bar / donations station. The evening will be sure to rekindle the flames of passion/ national pride as you slow dance/chant campaign slogans entwined in the arms of your valentine/allies. You’ll no doubt leave with an image of your lover/Mitt Romney forever emblazoned in your heart.
Registration is $50 per couple, $30 for single tickets, unless you’re coming for the caucus; we can’t legally charge for that.
*Please Note: There will be both kissing booths and voting booths present. Please do not confuse the two.