At first I was annoyed at the Occupy Byron City movement: pointless copycats of another group of pointless copycats of the original 60s pointless dirty hippie, who were horrible people, too, and still roam our woods at night in search of places to run around naked and hairy. One of these days the people of this city will thank me for my many hippie traps I have scattered through the forest and in some parts of town (be wary of the tea house).
But now that it’s over, I’m sad, because I realized that I was able to keep an eye on all the city’s scum at once. Doing my routine sweep of the entire city used to take me all day, but with Occupy Byron City, I was able to simply hide in the bushes of city hall in my ghillie suit eating dehydrated peaches and peeing in a beer bottle. I suppose I got used to being lazy. Now I’m back to my grueling routine of peeking through neighbors’ windows at night and knocking and running to make sure no terrorists have taken anyone hostage inside. Fun, but still a lot more work than during that week and a half of protests.
P.S. Mayor Chuck, I apologize for the collection of urine beer bottles I left in front of city hall.