And has anyone seen my heels? Those cost me $250 at Aldo and I’ll pretty sure…oh wait, here’s one next to the fire hydrant over there. Now where’s the other one? Whoa, my head hurts.
Ok, it’s starting to come back to me. I was out with some cute boys dressed as girls for halloween…or maybe they were just ugly girls…it’s still a little fuzzy… but anyways, the one dressed as a mermaid with the hairy chest suggested we go to the mall…or maybe to a bar… then I remember a pumpkin with a [censored] carved into it, silly string, a girl that looked kinda like Kim Kardashian, then flashing lights and cops, and running… crap, where’s Karen? Karen!? Where are you?! And why are there pumpkin seeds in my hair?
Wow, I had such a good time last night. Ouch! Broken glass…
– Tiffany Kim
*certain portions censored by the Office of the Mayor