Put Your List of Demands Here!

Fellow protestors! We’ve been criticized recently for being a leaderless, directionless, Occupy Wall Street copy cat with no real goals! So I’m having everyone write down their demands in the comment boxes below so we’re more organized.

My demand: make the richest 1% in the city pay more taxes! (like my neighbor, “Doctor” Paulo Silva, who’s not really a doctor anyways since he’s just a dentist, and how can he afford a bigger house than me anyways? AND a boat? And I heard he’s even having a pool put in. There’s no way he makes more than me, I’m thinking there are some illegal practices going on here, but that’s just speculation, he is from South America after all, which also makes me wonder about the legitimacy of his “dental” degree…)

So put your demand below, and tomorrow we’ll approach city hall with our list!

Dr. Frederick

P.S. I’m the exception to this rule, though, since I give to charity and am a bit more of a celebrity than the other rich people in town.

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8 thoughts on “Put Your List of Demands Here!

  1. I demand that, like, the government pay for my student loans. I owe a ton of money and never even finished my degree! So I don’t see why I should have to pay them now. Oh, and I have a few credit cards I don’t think I should have to pay off either.

  2. Jean, for the last time, you don’t have Green Elbow. There’s no such thing. And I’m not giving you any more meds if you keep giving your Vicodin to those teenagers who visit you every saturday.

  3. I demand that the government stop asking us to pay for things we don’t support. Like war. And car insurance. And showering. I demand health care for all! I demand the old patronage of Shakespeare’s time so that we can live off of the written word. I demand that the bureaucratic scum pay for me to do what I want!

  4. Alright everyone, this is a great start. Even though the protest is over, our list of demands is not! I’m keeping track in my vintage leather-bound notebook I bought from a vender in NYC on one of my business trips. So don’t think City Hall won’t hear our demands! I promise they will be heard!

    And Jared, stop emailing me saying you demand boobies. It’s not funny.

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